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September 21, 2006

Student Vows a "Righteous Ass-Whooping" on Hugo Chavez

Education major Tad Cochrane Left: Cochrane will not stand for dissing of the Man

(Washington, DC) After hearing Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez call President Bush "the Devil" at the United Nations, Georgetown University education major Tad Cochrane felt he had to speak out.

"Oh no he didn't! He absolutely does not come in our house and talk smack," said Cochrane, shaking his head. "Chavez is lucky I'm in DC. If I were home in the Bronx, I'd be driving to the UN right now to kick his South American ass, that's fo sho."

Chavez continued his criticism of Bush during a visit to Harlem today, calling the President "a sick man" who "walks like John Wayne." Cochrane issued a prediction of the result of a hypothetical fight between Chavez and himself.

Hugo Chavez with red beret
"If Chavez and me was going at it mano a mano, there would be only two sounds: me hitting him, and him crying like a little baby for his mamacita," he said, pounding his fist into his palm for effect. "I would bitch-slap that taco-eating Commie all the way back to Rio de Janeiro, or wherever the hell he's from. And yo - what's wit dat gay-ass beret, anyways?"

Cochrane, who said that he can be "one bad-ass MoFo" when angered, said that he "totally has the President's back" on this one.

"Yeah, buddy - GWB and me are tight as fuck, all right," he said. "Nobody talks shit about mah niggah George W, fo sho."

# posted by Subcomandante Bob : 5:30 PM
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